Category Archives: Aegean

Stalemate

I don’t understand chess, I never learned it, but I do get that there are Queens and Kings and pawns, and I understand the concept of a stalemate. I think all my past relationships ended that way. “I can’t make any moves, seems like a dead-end here, you copy?” “Over and out I read you, no moves to be made, all possible moves cancelled out.” It’s like being on a two-way radio playing chess. How the hell did this happen? Fuck my life as they say. I’ve never had luck with women and I never had a real desire to learn chess. To me it seems like something old people do, like golf, golf, chess, and ballroom dancing. If I ever get that stale mate, check me off the board. I’d rather not continue, I’d rather find myself at the end with no more moves left to make and a pocket full of memories of how things used to be fun, and I’ll take those and sit in the sun with a drink and a book, and stare at hot young Greek girl’s asses by the beach in Mykonos, no wait that’s something my ex girlfriend did when I was with her in the sun on a Greek island. She told me quite frankly, as we watched a young woman walking on the beach. “she has a nice ass,” and I thought this girl sure doesn’t hold back her thoughts, but she was right, I suppose, only those things never much mattered to me, maybe when I’m really old I’ll miss being young enough to imagine waking up in a spoon position with some Greek girl’s tight ass against my pelvis, but if she’s one of those carefree bitches, I’ll feel worse rather than better, and if she’s got too much of a tortured mind to have fun, then I’ll be equally tormented, so who cares about her ass, it’s only good to look at and imagine something better. But I got her back later at the café that evening, a lovely waitress came out to serve our coffee, and as she walked away I declared “wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman so hot in my whole damn life, what a Goddess!” And my ex just looked at me and said “thanks a lot.” I aim to please I guess, but then you know, we hit that place of no going forward and no going back, and as I reflect, there was never anything for us to go forward to together, and never a reason for me to go back, except maybe to sit in the sun, on a gorgeous Greek island, and enjoy the view.

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Inconsolable

I will remember when you say don’t forget. I will remember the motto on the license plates from Québec. I will remember the grinding sound of steel on tracks, the two young men who came in to serenade the crowd of Athenians on a winter day, as we rode out to Kifissia, their strong fingers strumming steel strings, the song they sang in Greek, the amused look on the faces of the passengers. I will remember the way you implored me to listen when I shut down into a catatonic state on the train heading back to Kypseli. I remember how we rushed back to your small apartment, the sound of the meltemi blowing hard against the canopy covering the balcony, as though the world was being torn away. I will remember laying close as you held me while I cried deep and inconsolably, knowing I’d be going back to the frozen nothingness of a vagrant existence in Canada. I will remember the seasons of time that passed as they bleed out and wash away again. The final image I hold is a negative of you standing on the terrace overlooking the Acropolis, you were as loved as anyone could be that day, and I was more sad than anyone could fathom.

 

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