I visit my old apartment, which is like a museum, a memorial shrine to the love we shared. The walls breathe in and out, a pleural exhalation and inhalation. The ceiling holds the shadow of your pupils, once dilated under the light of the moon. On the floor, there are petals from the orchids I gave you during our summer sanctuary, they wilt and carry the memory of two souls into one body, transcending time. Here is where we danced, we held eachother as a palpable sentiment of desire burned between us. There is where we lay naked chest to chest, an urgent throb palpitating between us. This is where you sat on my lap and wrapped your small body around me, kissing me so deeply, the lines of self and other merged. That is where we laughed from our stomachs and cried from our souls, it’s where we gave as much as possible in a limited lifespan, knowing it would never be enough, feeling as the days drew us closer, the hours slowly tore us apart, your hand from my hand, your thigh from my side, your lips from mine, the one into two again. I hold my ticket, it’s time to depart, I want to stay and live in those moments as in a deathless dream, but I must awaken and face these solitary hours alone. I must leave behind what is written so immortally in this temporary space.
October 7, 2016