You spit your arrow in me, shot poison, blew hard, you spit your arrow in me and the winds drew back and left an opening. In the opening was a chasm where the bones of the blacktail and your white blackmail in the earth womb of my ancestors held the council of the sacred as I lay naked, you shot it, you came full force and left the ghost child dancing in my memory. She stood there staring with a desecration in her eyes. I moved but she was motionless. Stuck arrow in a stuck hart.
I cannot bleed. I cannot bleed from this. I need to bleed. I need to release the poison. I need you to come suck it back. Suck out the arrow. Suck it in reverse, suck away this curse. I will not kneel at your altar. I will not be your sacrifice. I need to find a way to shape-shift back, because this thing I have become is a ruse to hide the truth from your colonizer eyes. Your eyes, your eyes, from poison penetrating.
Come closer, take the arrow, take the arrow back and suck it all away, suck into your priest father, suck into your moral injury, suck the moral code of ethics. Suck away the Cartesian twin. Suck the Abrahamic religion. Suck away your sin. Suck into the vacuous void from where you have emerged. Suck suck suck it. Suck the boy on his knees with the priest preaching into his mouth when he suffocated us with his fear of God, the father, the patronizer, suck the son and the ghost. Suck the crack pipe of a new messiah. Suck where he tried to force his way back through the womb portal of all creation.
Suck away the alienation of the red nation which has been whitewashed by your black black black, by the black world where I am enslaved. I need to emerge. I need to resist the urge of this blind impulse. I need to be unveiled, take off my headscarf and choke out the Allah in me, choke out the child bride, choke until the embryo of society breaks open and spits out new life.